Got Up On It

Oh snap!


I got my size 10 foot into the pull-up holster contraption on Saturday, and I practiced three sets of five pull-ups before my workout.


Yes it was awkward, and I'm a little sore along the sides of my torso.  (Name that muscle group for $10.)


No I did not fall.


I still have a long way to go.


Don't know if you can see the long black strap hanging down.  It means I had lots of help from the contraption to get my body weight pulled up and my chin above the bar.


Peace, love, pull-up practice with lots of patience,
jpq

Dream Come True

In the weight room, I'm attempting to craftily take a photo
with my Iphone and a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird.

It was 7:42 a.m. on a snowy Friday morning when the call came.  I had just started class, and the telephone screen read "PRIN SECRETARY."


"This is Jennifer," I chirped into the phone.


Hands shaking, heart racing, I set down the receiver.  I had just been asked to substitute teach for the head football coach/weights teacher that afternoon.

IT WAS MY PUBLISHER'S CLEARINGHOUSE MOMENT!!!

I shrieked and jumped for joy.  "Yes!" I declared with a Jersey Shore fist pump for emphasis.


Wide-eyed, jaws agape, my class had no idea what phone call could've made their freshman English teacher practically faint in front of their very eyes.  "I'm going to be the weights teacher this afternoon," I squealed, doubling over with disbelief.


I was completely flustered, and I asked the children where I would find the weight room 5th hour.


"You're going to coach weights, and you don't even know where the weight room is?" one wise guy smirked.


"Why no I don't, but I'm about to find out," I stated indignantly.
__________________________________________________________________ 


Sure enough.


I found the weight room and cranked the tunes to 103.3 JAMZ.  It was on.


Anyone student who thought he or she was going to slack in 5th or 7th hour weights class on a snowy Friday afternoon had another thing coming.  This part-time English teacher was ready to roll.


With long strides I made my way through the maze of weight machines and motivated and cajoled pockets of reluctant athletes.  


"Grab a rope," I would say as I offered kids jump ropes so that they could try double unders.  Most of those teens were natural double underers, and I grinned, congratulated them, and gave them a thumbs up while confiding that I would give just about anything to be able to do a double under.


As for the real turkeys who were stubbornly refusing to do anything?  I saved the burpees for those yahoos.


"C'mon," I told the kids who resisted my prompts to get moving.  "We're doing burpees," I told them, and down we went.  Five burpees for the most stubborn in the class.


At 2:20 p.m., ten minutes before class was finished, a group of cheerleaders and I found ourselves doing lunges in a line through an aisle of weight machines, and we finished with check situps on the mats.
__________________________________________________________________


Being a gym teacher for an afternoon not only MET my expectations, it EXCEEDED my expectations.


It was downright fun.


Reluctant learners who gave me fits in English class, were star students in my weights class.


__________________________________________________________________
In my sub report for the regular teacher I wrote:


"The kids were awesome.  Anytime you need a pm sub, I'd be happy to help out.  I loved it."


Jennifer Q.

The Week in Review -- Using "Text Speak" and Emoticons

While working on her arm hang at Kids' Bootcamp, Adelle Christine is modeling
the many emotions I have felt about my pull-up resolution this week.

Picture #1: :) Smiley Face Well hello, camera.  Are you taking a picture of me?  Did I mention that I WON the Paleo Challenge?  Would you like to see some of my cute new Lululemon workout apparel?


Picture #2: BTW, it's actually time to do this thang.  Coach Rut nudged me toward the pull-up bar this week because apparently I need to actually start working on a pull up.  Rut showed me how to use a pull-up assist thingy-ma-bopper that hangs from the pull-up bar.  Somehow I'm supposed to get my awkward, uncoordinated 5' 10" frame and size 10 foot into this contraption and actually begin working on a pull-up.  I'm preparing to relive my elementary school/junior high p.e. days as the not-so-agile girl amidst the lithe and lean athletes on the other side of the gym.  "Whatevs," I think.  I resolve myself to hang.


Picture #3: WTF Best miserable scrunched up nose picture evah.  Whose idea was it that I should learn to do a pull up?  Damn it.  I have a blog.  People are going to know if I back out.  Accountability sucks.  I hate all athletes who are super-fit and make everything look easy. It hurts. It hurts.  It hurts.  I missed three workouts this week because I felt fluish, and I got behind at work.  I might cry.  Great.  We're doing a million double-unders for our WOD today?  That'll be freaking AWESOME considering that I can't do double unders either.  I hate this.  What's that?  I have some chocolatey looking substance on the back of my super-cute Wonder Under Lulu crops.  Of course I do.  I should back out.  I will never be able to do a pull up.  Totally dumb idea, Jennifer.  I'm miserable.  This bites.  (I dreamt about Reese's Peanut Buttercups last night.)


Picture #4: :l Determined Face  FINE.  I will do this.  I don't want to break Paleo because Heaven knows that I do not want to go through carb withdrawal again.  It's time to buck up, stay true to my resolution, and go forward.  I've come this far.


Peace out, pull-up peeps.


Stay tuned for more frequent posts.


Gotta get back on track.

You Gotta Have Faith

BCF Paleo Challenge Winner!
It looks like I'm getting a big head with the tiara, scepter, and all, but I'm not.  My son's helping me keep it real as he said, "You look better Mom, but you still have a lot of butt fat."  He had extra brussel sprouts with his cave kid supper that night.

How did I get here?

I took a five mile run with the Rock the Parkway Groupies this morning to prep for the upcoming RTP 1/2 marathon.  Alone with my thoughts, I asked myself, "How did I get here?"  I came up with one answer, which I know makes people -- especially my husband -- squirm in their seats, but I decided the answer is unequivocally:  FAITH.

I had faithfully decided to go nowhere.

And, I was perfectly okay with that.  During the onslaught of snow days in 2010, I went on a major cleaning spree peacefully deciding that I was bored with running, comfortable with my body size and fitness level, and I couldn't think of any fitness challenge that would inspire me.  There were no more "big events" left for me or in me, so I packed up my too-small-clothes, and sent them off to thrift stores.

During a cold, dreary Sunday that same winter I sat on the hard wooden pews of St. Francis Xavier and Father Matt inspired me.  He was going to cycle across the U.S.  A priest, a real live priest, was on a mission to cycle across the U.S.; of course, I had to be a part of that Cycling for Change action, so I signed up to ride with the team from Jeff City, Mo. to St. Louis Mo. that July on a wing and a PRAYER. I wasn't going to overexert myself, but I did need to train.

I love my faithful friend.

It was now June, I hadn't been on my bicycle at all, and a most favorite faithful friend of mine was getting ready for major surgery at the end of the summer.  My friend and I spent a glistening June day at the creek with our kids, and she told me she was determined to stick to her bootcamp class during the summer, so she'd be ready for her surgery.  I felt lame-o. Here's my strong, hero-of-a-friend getting ready for hardcore surgery and going to bootcamp; I decided to look into this bootcamp craze so that I could actually make it through my upcoming bicycle journey.  My friend had inspired and informed me as I was not hip to the bootcamp scene.

I have faith that the right people are put into the right place in my life at the right time.

I used a Google search as soon as I got home from my creek playdate and found that there is a bootcamp/CrossFit certified gym, just a hop, skip, and jump from my house. I went to my first bootcamp class and about keeled over.  I thought the "dynamic" warm up was THE workout.  We do lunges to warm up, people!!!  My exhaustion was obviously evident as some kind gentleman assured me that all of the workouts "aren't always this hard."  He said that I just happened to be visiting on a particularly tough day.

I went ahead and signed up for bootcamp classes three times a week for three months -- carefully calculating that I wanted to end this bootcamp gig after three months since there was no way I'd be able to attend bootcamp classes during the school year.

After my bike ride, I met a fellow teacher at a 7 a.m. bootcamp class who told me that he goes to the 5 a.m. class each morning before school during the school year.  What?!  I didn't have an excuse not to attend bootcamp during the school year.  Real-life teachers can fit bootcamp, crack-of-dawn teaching, and their families into their lives?  There goes that excuse.

After my three month membership was up, and I saw that I could make it to bootcamp at 5 a.m. and school by 7:20 a.m., I re-upped my membership for three more months, but I realized that many of my 5 a.m. classmates went to class five days a week, and I eventually decided that I should, too.  In November, I switched my bootcamp membership to "unlimited" to get the full benefit of the five-day-a-week program.

This December, Coach Rut encouraged us to set goals and be accountable for achieving those goals.  Again, I resisted.  "Nope.  No goals here," I thought.  "I am goooooood, thanks."  But, a louder, persistent urge, an inner-faith, drew my eye to the athletes on the other side of the bootcamp gym.  "What if...? I thought.  "What if I could do just one pull up like those guys?"

And, here I am.

I do have FAITH that all the pieces will continue to come together at the right pace and at the right time so that I can figure out this pull up and maybe a double under, too.

Faith and peace to you on this Vitamin D-filled Sunday in K.C., friends!

jpq

The Big Girl's Guide to Taking a Compliment

It makes sense that my body is a'changin' as I work toward this one pull up goal.

And, apparently people are taking notice; therefore, said people have been gracious enough to compliment me on my progress.

Here's where it gets awkward:

As a "big girl,"

compliments about my body make me uncomfortable.

Let me set the stage.

Kind Person:  "Hey, Jennifer.  You're looking really good.  How much weight have you lost?"

Me:  (Uncomfortable stammer.)  "Oh... I don't know."  (Proceed to shift focus off of me with self-depricating remark.)

Why is it that I'm more comfortable wallowing in the embarrassment of one of my coaches politely telling me that my underwear is showing (this has happened not once but twice since I started on this fitness journey) than accepting a kind compliment?  Curses, body image issues, which I'm sure started in childhood!  Curses, I say!

For a thoughtful piece about childhood body image and how to help your kiddos have a healthy body image, please click here.

I truly am working to revel in the fact that I've bought a couple -- or at least five -- new Lululemon workout wardrobe pieces to accentuate my improving physique and prevent underwear exposure.

Love these tank tops from Lululemon.  Ok, fine.  I've bought one in black and one in gray.

Now, if I could just get the hang of saying "thank you" when I receive a compliment, without blushing to my ears and proceeding to think about how much farther I have to go on this journey.

THANK YOU for reading,
jpq

Three Reasons I HEART Paleo

For me, Paleo hasn't been all snausages and rosebuds, but there are somethings about Paleo that have me feeling wholesome and giddy while I'm on this journey to lose body fat, gain muscle, and do one pull-up by 12.31.11.  Here they are.


#3: I love doin' right by my family.  I have a boy-child who is on the cusp of hitting the puberty.

Recent Paleo dinnertime conversations have been raucously entertaining as we hear about the boy-child's 5th grade discussions in growth and development class.  Is it wrong that I told my son to answer "vagina" to every question on his final growth and development exam? 
Apparently acne has been a topic of discussion in growth and development, and my pre-man-being has inquired into our family-gene pool's experience with acne.  I am sorry to tell him that we are a family of acne sufferers, and as our progeny, he needs to be extra careful with his diet and hygiene to avoid the dreaded zits.  Here's what's cool about Paleo.  It's an acne zapper.  My own issues with adult acne have significantly decreased during this Paleo challenge, which makes me happy that we're doin' right by the pre-pubescent and setting him up for good anti-acne eating habits.

#2:  The conveyor belt at the grocery store looks beautiful.  Watching the veggies, fruits, and meats ONLY -- NO BOXES, NOT A ONE -- slowly glide by on the conveyor belt has been a joy.  The graceful glide of peppers, garlic bulbs, grass-fed meats, and wild-caught fish is a sight to behold, and it feels so right.  No processed food.  The only plastic-y packaging that goes by is my on-sale Indigo Wild, and it's still all-natural.  I slather this awesomeness all-over to prevent agonizing-wintertime-itchiness.  Speaking of the grocery-store conveyor belt.  I am a self-professed hater of the grocery store.  Dragging my reluctant-self into the Price Chopper and Hen House is a chore, but Paleo eating has changed that, too.  It's quick and easy to circle the perimeter of the grocery store when one is eating Paleo.  You won't catch this Cave Mom endlessly backtracking through aisles of canned goods and boxed foods.  Plus, our neighborhood Price Choppers and Hen Houses have great rewards programs.  At Price Chopper I have racked up lots o' discount QuikTrip gas since going Paleo while basically cutting our restaurant expenditures to zero.

#1: Even a snow day can't defeat this Cave Mom.  The timing of this Paleo challenge has been a doozy, and it's taught me that I CAN DO THIS.  We are at a grand-total of FIVE snow days that have occurred since I started the Paleo challenge.  FIVE.  That's enough snow days to drive even Mother-of-the-Year-Candidate-calibur moms to emotional eating binges chased by gallons of cocktail consumption.  I've held strong to Paleo and planned ahead.  The snowy wintertiming of this Paleo challenge has taught me that Paleo is absolutely a doable lifestyle for the long-haul.

Peace, love, Paleo-pull-up,

jpq